I'm not here to give relationship advice in anyway, nor do my views represent anyone else's but my own, but from my personal experience, our first reaction is to go down an emotional spiral that never seems to end and goes towards paranoia. What starts as self-doubt eventually leads you to start questioning all of your decisions and attacking your own character, integrity, and self-worth.
I tend to put a lot of effort and energy into our relationships because I care about the other person, but that's exactly the problem in my case. I put so much energy into people I care for prematurely that when the person leaves, an emotional void is created that is draining and filled with nothing but self-doubt and unhappiness. I feel drained; I feel angry; I feel sad; I feel hatred; I feel depressed and that destroys me a little at a time.
That happens every time I encounter difficulties in a relationship. I accept that it will take some time and it gets a little easier each time, but the one thing I have learned is that every time I bounce back stronger, it begins when I start loving myself.
Not that I'm saying that eating is the solution to loving yourself (although a cup of icecream might be the way to start), but doing hobbies and activities that you love to do, you begin to realize what an amazing person you are. You are talented, joyful, happy, and complete.
That's exactly what a relationship should be like. Your partner or significant other enriches your life but you don't need him or her to live it. You should not change yourself and you shouldn't force your significant other to do something they are not comfortable with either. You do what's best for you and live your life.
I admit that I still have a long way to go. I struggle everyday with myself questioning what went wrong. That's important because you can only learn from your mistakes. As my close friend told me "a relationship is like putting a mirror to yourself." You see the bad, but remember that there is a lot of good and most of it is good.
For me, the way to love myself is to start doing my fitness classes again, such as Zumba, biking, spending time with closest friends, family, and baking.
In the meantime, please keep on loving, learning, and living.
Thank you for letting me venting my feelings through this blog.
(Again, I'm not here to give relationship advice in anyway, nor do my views represent anyone else's but my own.)